Sneaky cuddling time. What a beast. He's in there on my bed now with his head on the pillows. Sure, he has his own bed but for some reason the "big" bed calls to him. Late night here and getting later as I have to finish my homework. It's almost done. The term that is and then there is life of the great beyond or ????? 

The city I love. This is a photo from after the strom. I was there a few weeks ago and it is hard to tell in the french quarter that anything has ever been any different, midcity is a different story. 

It feels like a thousand deaths in my heart to see and to know what is happening to a city I love and its people. Most of my friends are safe and in time I am sure I will hear from the others. I send all my love out there and wish I were there to at least give John a hug and promise that whatever I could do to help, I will. I donated blood on Monday, I am A+ , in other words a dime a dozen but still my blood will be given to someone somewhere in need. I am praying for everyone and for the quickest recovery.

The den of the beast 

The beast and I 

 

 

Lookie? Showered and my hair is combed.......I don't clean up too badly. 

 

The Race Is On!!!!!!

Go look.......Aliy is staying with it.
Robert Sorlie is kicking musher butt...damn that man is good.
But can Aliy catch him? We are still pulling that she will finish second.
Go Aliy!!!!!

he's a tired boy...7 miles today. oh, see the bear? it giggles 

Of course there is a bone and behind him is the kaola  

lame ass photo for the day 

 

 

I think I may have found Jinxs' brother.
Please go have a look at Petfinder
For those that think I have lost it, wait before you judge.

Here goes.

Jinx came from the town of Astoria.
We got him in March 2002, he was 10 weeks old at the time. Placing his birthday between December 26 2001 and January 1 2002. We came by this number two ways. He was brought to the vet's office there by a woman that had the three pups and she was trying to get rid of them. The vet asked a few questions such as.......Breed? German Shepherd/Malamute................How old? nine weeks.
The person with who I use to share a few things in life was a teacher in Astoria, his student picked Jinx up by the river road. My teacher friend took the dog to the vet to get it a shot before bringing it home to his dog. It was there the vet shared some information and then added that it was possible there would be no owner to look for.....most likely the dogs were just dumped, he said there were at least 2 more. The next week we see that one has been added to the Humane Society page. One was enough for us, well with the other dog and the house full of cats. But I always wondered what happened to the other dogs. I can't what the history of Lester is but I know from conversations with a person at the rescue that Lester is thought to be 3 years of age and a wonderful dog but he came to them as a stray. Let's find Lester a home!!!! If you want to know more about Lester go check the page out and email them questions. Let's go see Lester....whoever takes Lester into their home would make me very happy as well. Especially if we can get the dogs together. I am considering going up there to Warrenton (a suburb of Astoria) to see the dog and take Jinx along. But I am not in a position to get another dog but Lester is someone special, I can feel it from here. I just knew from that first image that they must be related and I can't wait to find out. Jinx and Lester look lots alike.

Oh, and let's think of a really cool name for Lester.
I am thinking Sorlie....after Robert Sorlie.

Aliy Zirkle and Dee Jonrowe are demonstrating that a musher is a musher. This is a race of indivisual strength and endurance. Currently Dee and Aliy are holding positions 3 and 4. This is a random picutre I took from the Iditarod home page. Just thought it a great photo. Go have a look.

Kick Butt Girls!!!!!

The Great Race is underway.

The official start of the Iditarod was moved north of Anchorage to Willow.
Jinx and I are pulling for Aliy Zirkle. She's been our favorite for a while but we are also happy to see any woman out there kicking snow boy butt. Dee Jonrowe is steadily moving up in the standing. Jessica Hendricks is moving along at a good clip. She was awarded the Rookie favorite of 2003.....actually I think was the first first rookie to cross the finish in Nome.

Being from Oregon I have to mention and pay tribute to Rachel Scdoris, a 20 year old Alfalfa, Oregon native. A small town girl with a dream to run this race. She has probably had to work harder than anyone to be allowed to race, she is blind, but she does not this as a disadvantage but rather just something that is. She requires a guide, she has previously run races with snowmachine guides but the Iditarod trail committee said "NO" and so they have compromised to allow her another musher to run in front of her and communicate to her by radio. Imagine the things one could encounter, a pissed moose, a low branch, hairpin turn, broken ice......by all means her dogs are her eyes, but she is navigating in territory unknown but a runner ahead of her should help. Some have complained this gives her an advantage but hello....she can't see 20 feet in front of her self, this means that her lead dog might only appear as a smudge, if even that.
I say "Go Rachel!!!" I hope she kicks butt too. Any finisher of this race is a winner. There are very few athletes that embark on The Last Great Race (shoot, I have to look that up......is the Yukon Quest called the last great race? or just the hardest? a little research is in order).

Good Luck all mushers and dogs on your way to Nome.


I should tell you that the other day when I was reading the paper I got really emotional about the race. But then again anytime I read about the race emotion just wells up. It is powerful, the whole race and the solitude of the north.

I have a passion for the north, not to mention that some of my family lives in Cordova, Alaska.

When I was in first grade we were asked to write a paper on what we wanted to be when we grew up. I wrote that I wanted to be an Eskimo and I wanted to eat whales. A second grader told me I would never be an Eskimo, that you are born an Eskimo. My first lesson on ethnicity. I was crushed.

Three hours to the start of Iditarod 2005

I will be reading Yukon Quest throughout the race. Unless of course someone has a suggestion for a book I have not read about the Iditarod.

Good luck all mushers and dogs!!!!

Ever do something you think you might regret?
Get close to doing it?
done it and was able to change your mind just in time?

Thought about doing something and knowing the whole time you would regret it if you did?


I am on the verge of throwing caution to the wind and making some changes in my life.
I don't why I let myself feel the way I do and then think I would feel better if I could just do more, give more, be more - be something I am not.

A good friend once described this behavior as a need to go away and lick wounds.....I think I need to do some wound licking and let the soul and ego heal. Mostly I don't really get hurt very often and when it happens it is on a moments notice and the wound seems to cut so deep that not even stitches would hold it together. There is no bandage big even to cover it.........like the Grand Canyon, some wounds leave a scar and a memory but eventually that is all they are and the river winds itself a new path.

Two more days!!!!
The Iditarod starts and we are pulling for Aliy Zirkle

I love reading about the adventures of dog sled racing. I think it is a sport that goes fairly unnoticed unless of course it is to bring controversy to mushers over the dogs. Check out the above sites, these dogs were born to run. I worry about the musher, but they do it because they love it. It is not a grossly financially rewarding experience, it can be but not for all the racers. I'll dig around for some good links about dogs and racing and mushing.

The Jinxie Pie giving me the evil eye 

Jinx and Lisa the mysterious disappearing and reappearing couple.
Tons to write but often not the time or energy to do so....okay perhaps that is a cop out. I have been busy and naturally find many mnay ways to distract myself as to avoid dealing with life and the little things.

I just recently left a note for someone I care about telling them that I love them. Today I sit and wonder if it was wise.....my heart says yes my mind thinks I must be nuts. Confessing feelings of affection to anyone is always a risk but it was a risk I needed to take. I consider myself a fairly affection and caring person and I like to share these feelings but sometimes I hold back for fear of rejection. Some times it is not always about me and but this time I needed to let the words out and risk whatever consequence would follow. But I couldn't rattle the words because I feared I might mess up the meaning or find myself behaving like a crawfish and backing away from what might have seemed like danger. So, I wrote it on a note with a little wooden boat surrounded by water. It is true, I do love this person. Sure, I risk not having the feelings come in return but that is not what I expect, we must stay true to who we are and not expect others to behave as we would. Epressing my love for my friends and even for someone I am intimate with is important to me. The only weight it should carry is that it is unconditional, I don't need to hear the words in return in order to have the feeling, it is a feeling, I feel it my heart and even the pit of my stomach.

When you catch that glimpse of someone and you just have a warm rush flush over you.....even if they have snot dripping from their nose or spinach stuck in their teeth.....the feeling is there. Now I know it is probably ill timing for this person but I want to make it a safe feeling, the fact that I feel this way but don't expect it back. I like doing their laundry and making sure they have clean unwrinkled cloths to wear. Just doing little things I think might make their life more easy. I don't expect anything in return, not too much anyway *wink* I feel safe asking for a hug when I need one or a kiss, asking and knowing that it will feel so good and that it doesn't need to be anything more than that, but that I can ask. If you don't ask it is probably safe to say they won't be able to read your mind.

I love hugs........human touch is great. Sure dog love is too but it is different.

The person that I wrote the three little words to doesn't do things he doesn't want to do, but when he does them, he does them well. He gives the best hugs and has the warmest smile. I can't wait to see it again.

Just taking a moment to post from campus after completing a midterm.
I have a genetics study group in a few minutes and still have work to complete before a lab tonight.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day.
I choose to donate blood.
As some might already know it will be 11 years since my mom passed away come June.
When she was having chemotherapy there was a need for a few operations. One of those was the removale of her stomach and spleen just days after her diagnoses in 1992. She recieved a lot of bloos during those two years. This is my chance to give back. I have not always had the iron level they desire and have been turned away, also during the time I took accutane I could not donate, so here we are. I am healthy and can donate. I am not sure my body really suffers much from it, but I feel like my spirit thrives. We can't help that people and pets come and go in our lives but we can make the most of our time with those around us and we can make the most of their memories. Tears don't come like to they use. I am not cold about this, it is just that I have found a place in heart to hold those I love and I don't want pain associated with those memories.

I had a bad dream about Jinx last night. I don't know if it was triggered from yesterday but it was scary. I held him close and panted lots of kisses all over him. Then we slept in, together. He is my life raft, I know that is heavy for him and I don't want it to be, but hopefully he loves me as much or at least realizes I am the one that drives the car so he can get muddy in the forest.
None the less it is getting close to my study session.

Don't forget the Iditarod starts in 17 days (go check it out)

also the Westminster Dog is annoucing Best in Show tonight....sorry Jinx wasn't feel up to all the attention, we bagged out. HAHAHA, Sorry, they don't like those of the mixed breeds, I think there should be a mutt best in Show.

Happy Mardi Gras!!!!!

But alas I am not in New Orleans or Mexico or Brazil or the Caribbean and therefore there is no real celebration of Carnival. Instead I am studying for a lab exam I have this evening and nursing a cold wishing Jinx could walk himself. It is about 34 degrees here and for me that is COLD!!! For Jinx I think it is heaven.

This morning while having coffee I looked around, through my puffy, watering eyes and watched as the place filled up. Noticing just how negative energy seems to float in a place, I can't stand it and it takes so much work to change it. But I try and I would rather give up the energy than revel in the pit of less than neutrality. I understand from working in a coffee that some people are picky.....I don't think I am one of those but there is a basic level of service that I like, hot coffee. That is it. I don't think it is asking too much but see at this shop they have lots of competition from bigger places, but I think if you skimp on quality you are going to loose business. There are times that I would rather walk the four blocks to another shop and get an Americano, because I know it will be hot. So, here is the deal, I can usually tolerate my coffee not being piping hot but if I am the only one in line or a particular person is working I will ask for my cup to be preheated, a few of the girls do this for everyone, it is a great gesture and is well rewarded ( I tip fairly well because I know what it is like). But there is one thing I can't stand and I don't think it is good for a person to do is act like a pain or fill the order incorrectly just because someone asks for something a little more than what they want to put in to it. I understand everyone has a bad day and I am no expection, but I don't want my bad days to be contagious. My coffee was good and hot but there was one thing it lacked, pleasant service. Which is a shame considering I am in there all the time, but this morning the whole coffee shop had this energy. The people that work at the coffee shop often come to be customers there. Students fill tables for hours sometimes without ordering anything at all. I try not to stay too long during these rush times, everyone wants to enjoy their coffee and they are paying to be there, so I figure they should at least have to opportunity to sip and sit. Upon watching the one male employee of the place (he lives upstairs) snag a table, larger than the one he had been sitting at, right out from under an older gentleman I was ashamed to be young and ashamed that I had a book opened with half a cup of coffee and no extra chair to offer the man. I can't say for certain if morally this was a wrong move on either of our parts, the boy or me. But I can say that at that moment, 10 mintues after I got there I was determined to finish my coffee and leave, hoping that my table would be well appreciated. I put my book away and quickly drank down the rest of the hot liquid and a man was standing about 3 feet away, waiting. I asked if they would like my table. Of course. Why do we fear talking with strangers? I talk to some people in the coffee shop that I don't know, but some have a wall that sends vibes about not talking. How do we get that way in life, how to do send messages that we are not accesible, why do we? All I can say for certain is that ..............well I don't know that I can say anything for certain but I can say that New Orleans has magic about it that allows people to pass words back and forth without any weight, just conversation, everyone one someone front porch kind of feel. I miss that.
And today is Mardi Gras........I think I just miss New Orleans.
But there are things that I love here too.
More on that later. I do have to study.

School is keeping my very busy these days. The writing class is by far my favorite, but the only problem is that now stories run not stop in my mind all the time.

I think about all the driving I have done. Mostly the roadtrips I have been thinking about lately have me driving across Kansas or through Texas......long drives through areas that really are some place. Places I thought before were just obstructions on the map, places that could drop away and the gaps close, more closer together and fuse a new state line. But I think I like they way they are....they offer adventure and stories. Amarillo.....there are songs written about this place, from my experience I am not sure why, but I was just passing through and now I have a story about, just like that. I do plan on writing some of these stories. These places have painted themselves into my brain and I have to write about them, it doesn't feel like a choice. But I think I will enjoy the doing it, learning the story as I write it.

Speaking of stories....................
25 Days until the start of Iditarod 2005

I really want to write about love. But alas, I don't think I can. It has been a long time since I have whispered those three little words and I often wonder if my chances on love have just run out or I purposely put myself in a position not to be loved. It is sad really. But I do remember how large the heart feels and warm the body can be with arms of my love wrapped around me as we fall asleep. I miss playing footsies from the opposite end of the couch, or those little smiles when you catch each other looking......a message is passed in that moment with no words. I do believe that as love grows so does this form of communication. I think the soul grows to be very rich from loving and being loved.

27 Days to the start of Iditarod 2005

Saturday, February 05, 2005

I had a great run this morning.I think I have to give up alcohol for this month too. I had two glasses of wine last night and it was fine but I didn't sleep well and I didn't like waking up knowing that I chose two glasses of wine over lifting weights.....for a few reasons but none the less. The run in the woods produced more lactic acid that I am used to, I think because I took it too easy this week with all the working out. I am going to do weights this afternoon and one more run so that the mutt will stay tired. I have some studying to do but not the kind that stresses me out all weekend.Today was just a beautiful day.The run in the woods brought a rush of emotions and memories, it was good. I thought back to being a child and planning with my friends our outing. We were notorious for taking off in the early morning hours to go hiking. We'd let out about 5am with backpacks stuffed with blankets and food. I never went too far but it was a bit of a hike. The one time that really hit was when the temperature had dropped to 17 below and I was staying with a friend. My mom brought me more cloths and mittens because she was not sure I would be warm enough, ((((((hugs)))))) moms are great. I was 7. But I still remember that day and the next morning. With our backpacks stuffed at the last minute we decided that we would roast Cheerios over birthday candles, I guess I was attracted to fire even back then. Not I just seem to start the fires. We made the trek up the mountain and huddled against the rock face we waited on that December morning for the sun. It would be nearly an hour before it came up, we were freezing and laughing from the pain of it. Fire. Of course, birthday candles don't produce much heat and would have gotten a serious whippin' if we were to set the hillside on fire, we weren't even suppose to have matches or candles for that matter. But there we were, freezing and trying to warm our little hands over the candles. Forget it. With the bankets wrapped around us and before the sun was up we headed down that rocky mountain. Rocks jutting out, rocks we thought might just be the backbone of the devil, where do children get these ideas? We climbed down and as we got to the pasture the sun began to rise, we still saw the sunrise but we couldn't hold out huddled together up there in what might have been some degrees below zero. I and this same friend would end up having so many adventures and would both lose our mom's too early. She lost her mom before we turned 8 and I would lose mine less than 8 years after that. It is not sad, much like these memories are fun to recall, I have a special place in my heart and soul for those that no longer exist here in their physical form. So, when I hit those trails I carry everyone with me, I take pictures in my mind that I want to share. I have stories that I tell as I run up, as I watch my dog run further and harder. I have these tales that I can tell but it never take writing or talking to share them. It is just my way and it makes me feel like a part of everything, a molecule in a complicated structure.

five minutes later........I guess he just needed a moment before he passes out. 

me after the run, had to add and extra layer, it was very cold but beautiful and so quiet......I feel energized. 

Jinx after the run, ready to go.....well maybe he is going to rest a while 

me before the run, i was ready to go 

Jinx before our run in the woods.........looking a little sad. I suppose it is not fair to say we are going and then to take photos of him. 

It is nearing a time that I should be going to bed. I can't. For some reason lately I don't seem to sleep so well. Not sure how to fix this. I have a weight training appointment in the morning.....I have to wonder if I was happy with my few extra pounds. Though, I will admit that I am not making any effort, that is both sad and a bit of a relief. Just weight lifting mostly. It is weird that the scale says I have lost weight but I don't feel it much. I suppose it is like anything, sometimes we don't feel like we are doing enough. I never feel like I am doing enough.

A friend was trying to explain to me about spider veins in the fat tissue and that my body will metabolize these and I will no longer see them. I think I am going to have to go early for coffee to see the guy that teaches the physiology class, I can't figure this one out. It would be great if that is what happened but I asked another person about it today and he said that he didn't know and then proceed to tell about about they are removed professionally. That was interesting but none the less I still have no answer. I have spider veins and one group is really bad behind my knee. By the way, most of the spider veins are around my knees and showed up around puberty.

Anyone on this???

Jinx had a good treat tonight, I fed him two short ribs from a cow. He was happy.

Wow......I am finally finding a moment or rather making a moment to get over here.
The fog has set in and it is starting to get cold around here again.
I have a paper due in the morning and I need to work on it tonight but Jinx must have hit some teenage something or another because he has taken to being a pill late at night. I suppose it could be me and we don't do near enough running, but damn. I could take him for 5 miles a day and he would still want to play just when I sit down to finish my work. It is not his fault really. It is mine, I should be giving him more attention, finding something we could do that is more mentally demanding and in the end more draining. Flyball perhaps. I don't like to get upset when he is crying at night and I am trying to read.....I love him too much for that. I can't imagine going through school with children.

Tonight in my anatomy lab we were measuring action potential. So let me describe this little project or how it started anyway....deciding that I had the smallest legs (not a compliment, really) I was the one that would be connected to the electrodes. Great. We smeared some jelly on me, just for the sake of this it really does look that KY glue, I mean lube....the stuff in the tube that they use for all sorts of sticky things, but the gel went on two places on my calf and then then the sticky tabs were attached and the electrodes on top of that and then we attaced the grounding electrode to my wrist. Tapping my achilles tendon we were measuring how long it too the message to get to my spinal cord and then send a message back to my foot causing plantar flexion. I am a slow relexor....or it was just that I was so tired. It is a weird position to be in, lab partners can tap and tap and watch your foot twitch and you have no control. But we had more trials of action potential with other tasks. I got to tap knees, it was funny. I have a great lab group. So that was lab. Now I am going to have to finish my paper.

He will sit in the computer chair if I ask.....I think he just likes it. 

This is my new haircut and new color..... 

Hugs to everyone that has been posting here.
I messed up the blog and then took forever to fix it.
I have been writing, doing school work, working out and keeping Jinx in shape.
That dog is getting ponchy. Just kidding, but he does look good.
Me too. Actually for the most part I am feeling really good, I could use more sleep but really there are not many complains. I could use more hugs too, but can't we all. I think as a society we are very antitouchy.

Amanda are the Brits more lovey dovey?

Touch is tharapeutic..........I have also been reading on Taoism.

I need to write more often about the Jinx and Lisa adventures.
Remind me of this if I fall behind.

I did learn yesterday at the dog park that one man wipes his dog down with alcohol after she has been outside. Hmmmm.......is this good for a dog? I guess he just runs an alcohol soaked rag over her. I think that Jinx would stink, his hair would not be so soft and he would probably lick it off causing all sorts of craziness. This is why rubbing alcohol is not 100%, there are chemicals in it that if ingested will make one sick. Perhaps the man has a better reason then just that she sleeps in his bed. First, I won't let Jinx past the top cover and even at that he has to sleep on the chenile blanket, never under the covers, I would have some serious dog booty to kick. I don't know.......people, we all do some strange things sometime.

I am going to hunt down a doggie photo......he is sleeping now, so I can't really press his face to the camera in an attempt to get a photo.

(((((((((lots more hugs)))))))))))
hope everyone is well.

What do we think about the blue?

Amanda has a cool background. I am going to have to do some things to my page.
Mike........how the hell are you? I am going to set links to both of your pages.

Can I plug David Sedaris here????
I am listening to Holidays on Ice (I have heard it many time before, but I am now listening at night when I lay in the tanning bed.....I am sure to get cancer)

I am kind of liking the new page color. Navy Blue....very not pink. Anyway. I had a template problem or so I thought but I think I did something crazy when I downloaded all those little quizzie things. So, we hope this is better for a while. Tons to write about but it will have to wait until tomorrow.
I need some rest, the mutt is sleeping like a little human in my bed and he take up so much space......why does he sleep in the middle?

Okay that was a waste of like 15 minutes.
Enjoy.

Horoscope for Sagittarius 12 Jan 2005

CHOOSE...AriesTaurusGeminiCancerLeoVirgoLibraScorpioSagittariusCapricornAquariusPisces

Kwiz.Biz Daily Horoscopes for your Blog

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz


I even tried to cheat to change it. Why could I be Banana's Foster? Why I ask you? I would prefer Banana's Foster or maybe even Lavender Honey. If anyone gets a different flavor other than Neopolitan or Vanilla please let me know, I think it is a tainted quiz.

I lied. As soon as I turned the shower on he grabbed a chew toy and went under the bed. I am guessing he will stay for the time it takes for me to finish my homework. I guess we could say he is dog tired. As for me I am still floating about the run, it really was incredible. I could do it everyday. There is a sense of perfect peace in the mountains. Although it is nice to be in my warm apartment listening to Enya. Yeah, I know it is probably cliche for a sunday afternoon but if anyone wants to make a suggestion for me that would be wonderful. oh, not all the music is Enya, there is a mix and some of it is Bonnie Raitt and Otis Redding.

I just love these quiet days. I fear that if I spend too much time alone I am going to lose my social skills. I do believe this happens and I will give examples later.

After the run, give it 5 minutes, he will be snoring by the heater. just wait and see. 

This is jinx before the run......I couldn't even keep him still.